Just watched PS I love you. Great movie. Yeah... I had half a bottle of some random white wine and a bag of popcorn (94% fat free I promise) so I'm feeling pretty damn good right now... so good that I almost called a few old crushes. Yeah exactly, bad idea so I decided to write instead. I've learned through countless occasions that calling a guy never makes you feel better, only worse. They always give you the, "why are you calling me at this hour?" bullshit and then it becomes such a buzz kill cause then you end up arguing shit out anyways. Vomit.

So moving on to more important news, my mac laptop started up again. I swear that computer is soo fickle. Three weeks ago it didn't start up so I declared it officially dead. Then the other night, like at 3 am, I thought to myself, I should give it one more try before I turn it in to the apple store, and low and behold it started up again. So fuckin strange I swear. That computer always throws me off, but hey it works so I can't complain. Now I'm allowed to hangout out at coffee bean again. Total score.

Another thing that somehow finally got fixed was my hand-me-down couch. When I first moved to LA, the movers somehow broke it and the screw fell out or whatevers. I tried fixing it with Chrislyn on the first day here in LA, but that damn screw just did not go in. Plus, some stupid ass spring was blocking it, which totally bruised our fingers. So yeah, I've been hanging out for the past month on a broken couch, which had a 75% chance of me falling back with my legs in the air flailing around and it flapping into a bed (it's a futon) when ever I sat on it. Trust. It happened on many occasions and I was Furosha Couture like no other. It was like a frickin monster that swallowed me whole every damn time I sat on it. It was ridiculous and I seriously don't know how I actually survived with that crap. Anyways, I was rather bored the other day, and with the luck of the mac starting up, I thought that I could fix the sofa for good. Turns out, the main piece shifted down blocking the actual hole for the screw to go in. That's why when Chrislyn and I were trying to get it back in, we were only getting bruises because the piece wasn't in the proper place. Gosh, get that IDIOT stamp out and place it directly in the middle of my forehead. Yeah, so it's aaaallll good now. yay!

So I think the big question now is, "how am i 'really' doing?" A lot has changed in the past few months--finally graduating after six years, losing my job, moving to LA-- and I have to say, I'm actually doing okay. Yes, it could be better under circumstances, but I'm okay. I don't know if it's the fact that I feel like somehow everything will work out, or to be honest quite possibly it won't, but I'm just so happy to be here. Maybe it's the fact that I took a huge risk and I'm very proud of myself for evening taking that step... I don't know. It's so weird and unfamiliar not to know what I'm doing. I've always had a plan; for a very long time now. But with all the change happening, I just kind of gotta roll with it and take it day by day. I honestly don't know whats going to happen anymore, and it's exciting but scary at the same time. It was so easy to dream of my perfect future when I was still in school, but now that I'm out of it and in the real world, I kind of see things differently. I'm taken aback by it all, and feel like there's sooo much more out there than I could imagine. I mean, there's a whole world for me out there to explore. I don't know how to explain it, but it's all so different than what I expected 6 months ago.


It's pretty crazy that I don't even know anymore. The only thing I know is, is to just hope for the best. That's what I'm living by...

I'm tired now. night night.